Today

I saw something that scared me to the core. I wanted to write about it, to tell you both in the future what I am feeling now.

A 15 year old beauty ended her life. She left a YouTube video explaining her story. A story that was heart breaking, a story that will change the way your dad and I think about our choices we make for/with you.

Her video was about bullying...of repeted bullying she had experienced. Individuals did terrible things to her, I guess their explanation is that she made poor choices.
Poor choices yes, she did...but I feel you should be able to make poor choices and learn from them, not be haunted by them.

I write to you now, pleading that you always tell us what is happening....no matter what it is, we can handle it together. Please please please, you both are our world...our reason for living. I know I could not bare for you to feel how that poor girl felt. Lonesome, yearning for someone. There is always someone, always.

We are here, we are listening...we want to watch you grow and celebrate the lives we started for you. Respect yourself, respect others, love life...love every breath, each one is so precious.

When you read this, the story will long be forgotten by most. I will never forget the way it made me feel....it brought tears to my eyes...and Poppy, you ran over to me and hugged me. Through the tears I made you promise to never let someone make you feel the way others did to this beautiful creature, and to never stand by while this is happening to someone. You simply said "Yes Mama"....I am holding you to that statement. Forever.

Mama's Fruit Crisp

Here is an amazing recipe that you both LOVE (ok...we all love, everyone loves...)

Topping:

1/2c Melted Butter
1/2 c Old Fashioned Oats
1/4 c Whole Wheat Flour
1/4 c Brown Sugar
2 tbsp Hemp Hearts
2 tbsp Flax Seed
1 tsp nutmeg (fresh!)

Filling:

1tsp Cinnamon
Enough sliced fruit to fill 1 1/2 - 2 inches of the pan

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Toss fruit in the cinnamon, pour into pan (9x5/small square)

Whisk dry ingredients with 1/2 c melted butter and pour overtop of fruit, spread it around evenly.

Bake for about an hour, till the fruit is bubbly.

Enjoy my sweets...yum!

Way too many moons have passed....

Happy Thanksgiving, Lovies!

I know; your mama is the worst blogger ever. Forgive me, as I have been having way too much fun with you to remember to write it all down.

August: what a rush. We went to the beach (Canatara Park)
September: holy mackeral...I still think we are still in September. We hit up Apple land, and a bitchin corn maze.

Poppy:

You started back with the little bugs September 1st. It was like you had never left, and it was lovely to see you so happy to be back with your pals. I struggled, and am struggling to let go...How I wish I could keep you at home with me, but I know that this time away is important for confidence and social interaction. I hope it serves you well in your future.

I keep you home with us on Thursdays, and we usually have an awesome day.

You talk so much now, you can count to 5 and 10 with help. You speak with such passion, I hope you never lose that. You also have started into the realm of hand gestures...it is halarious and it is hard to keep from exploding with laughter whilst you banter on.
You know colours, shapes, objects, the difference between light and dark, morning and night. You love blankets and Buzz & Woody. Puzzles, colouring and to our delight; reading is still top ranks. You also have a new love for ELMO...Sesame Street dot com has been a big hit when we are waiting for Supper to be finished and ready.

You still need naps, you still go to bed by 7:30 at the latest. We tried to take "Soozie" away...that was a rough 2 nights...you won that battle you minx.
Your hair has grown into a delightful mullet...I had to cut some bangs for you, it was in your eyes and poor mama was afraid you would start pulling it out again....causing us to start at square one.

You weigh 28lbs, you wear a size 6/6.5 shoe. I don't know your exact height, but I can assure you have grown 2.5 knuckles worth since February. Potty is going well, you enjoy the pull-ups we have given you.

Clover:

Wow, you are 6 months old. How did that happen, and how do I get this time back?
You are almost crawling, you are strong.
You have lost some of your junk in your trunk, but still bigger than what Poppy was at this age...not by much though.
You smile all the time, you are sweet and soft. You love the jolly jumper to no end. The way you look at your sister brings tears to my eyes right now....I hope that never changes.

You love pumpkin mixed with oat cereal, banana, apple sauce and rice cereal. Avocado took some convincing, but its getting better.
You are really into watching everyone eat...I can tell what you are thinking, and often tell you "soon, soon you will get to eat with the rest of us...but for now here is your mush" you always smile at that.

I cannot wait for Halloween, as you know it is Mama's favorite time of the year. This fall has been absolutely beautiful, and tomorrow we will stroll in the woods...I will take many pics, I promise.

Thanksgiving, what do I have to be thankful for? why the answer is simple....I have everything to be thankful for, so much that I don't think there is any room in my world for dissapointment, anger or frustration. I am the luckiest lady out there, and at times I do not act like it. I need to work on that.

I will post some photos and try to be more regular...I can't locate the camera right now!

♥

PS...I am sorry there are no photos, for some reason this machine will not upload the photo flipped, UGH.......

BAH.

Just washed a disposable diaper in the washing machine....AWESOME. Could we restart this day?!
On a brighter side, you are both sleeping soundly :)

and the dishes will wait....Poppy, you are up. Ready, set....MONDAY!

Slack-a-lackin

Good grief, not much bloggin has happened.
I tell ya, lots has been happening (perhaps that is why there is no blogging going on...)
Updates:

Poppy, you are 2 now...amazing. I will post more on that as soon as I get Gma's card with all the photos on it (ya, we forgot the camera...don't judge)

Our days are busy, we almost always get out except for when it is very hot. It has been a very hot summer, dry...little rain. You love to water the garden every morning, and it has become a fun activity to do together. You also LOVE the "cans" crayons for short, which I love because I have been trying to get you to color forever. Not sure why, I think I love to color...so I want to do it with you.

You are quite the chatterbox these days, new words pop up every minute it seems...I love it when we are out, you just start pointing at things, telling me what is what.

We haven't done nearly any of all the cool stuff I had planned, but that's ok...you are still happy with how your summer is panning out. You have a cool pool in the backyard....and that rock-box...well, since your parents are the HUGEST PROCRASTINATORS on the planet...we are still working on that. I am hoping for Thursday....stay tuned.

CLOVER

Wowee little sweet bean, things are going swimmingly in your department too. You are growing like a weed, and still quite squishy. I would gestimate that you are weighing in at about 17 pounds. Poppy weighs 27, lets put that in perspective...SLOW DOWN!

You are very long, very strong...and oh so determined, but in a very sweet way.
You love the jolly jumper, well jumping in general...even if you are not in the jumper.

Sleeping is your thing, going from 10pm-somewhere in the 5-6:30 range. Which is amazing, the baby whisperer has saved us again :)

Daytime routine is still pretty loosy goosy, but with some predictability in there...but I am more than happy with that.

You can't sit up quite yet, but I think you are close. Rolling over is a breeze now, but sometimes the arms get caught. You are pushing up quite well.

You also laughed this weekend...just once, and it was freaking amazing...daddy heard it from downstairs. Now if we can just bottle that and sell it...BAM both your tuitions and our dreams are paid for.

Well girlies, it is 6:43am...and that means that Poptart, you will be stirring soon. Clover, you woke at 5ish, were fed and played sweetly in your crib...practicing your moves on your own. I think you have gone back to sleep now...I haven't heard you squeek in a bit. Oatmeal is on the stove for your Pop...how bout you wait another 15 so I can get the dishes done.
xoxo Mama

Love for the animals!

Today we went to the animal farm in Canatara park.

It really was the best ever....thanks to Daddy for sneaking this vid :)

Now for the Lil Lassie

Clovie! *yes, that is your nickname*

Ah you are my sweet little baby, so happy and content. You rarely fuss, and when you do it is for a good reason.
You have started to make strange, giving Grammie a hard time. Grampa still won't go near you...but he will start to come around soon.

You are working on rolling over these days, you are getting close! You will tolerate tummy time better than Poppy did, but still not one of your favorite things to do.
You really enjoy the Rainforest Jumper (thank you gg Kameka...best basement find ever) and I put you in the Jolly Jumper this week and you love it!

You coo up a storm, and you wake up in the am smiling and happy. It is a wonderful thing to wake up to a happy baby, and not a banshee (no one is looking in your direction, Poppy)

You really enjoy your sister, you give her big smiles and I will try my hardest to get a photo of you two soon.

You are sleeping 10:30-6:00 these days...AWESOME.
We did have a routine during the day...but it is pretty loosey goosey, I just go with the flow. I kinda wish there was a bit more predictability, but hey...you are happy, that is what's most important.

And to keep it Even Steven, here are some recent photos of you:
(The last one was taken today)

A Little Pop Goes a LONG way....

Ahh! Mama has lost track of time again...sorry for the delay :)

Poppy, you are talking more and more each day...and you are learning new words/expressions every single day too. Here are some of them you are using:
I want: that, up, down, walk, juice (juice is the cup),out, help
No, Ok, Yeah
Chickadee (a favorite)
Woah
Poop...alot.
Bird, Baa, Moo, Bee, Buzz
Strawberry (for every berry)
Kitty
Larsy...poor Lars, you are currently tormenting him and this is usually your first word of the day
Brush
Flower
Mine
Owww
Oh Boy
Oh Bayyybee
Cookie...damnit, at first it was cute...now it almost always ends in a melt down

You are also doing a "gallop" thing...it's halarious, I will try to get a video uploaded...I have yet to figure out how to do that though.

You are having a hard time not stepping on the baby, we are having a bit of a battle with that. Potty is going ok, a few accidents here and there when you get excited and forget. Daddy just informed me that you pooped on the floor last week...good job babe ;)
We went through a few weeks of you crying at night again, perhaps this is why I forgot to blog...sheer exhaustion. I think I figured out why (maybe) I bought the Madagascar Dvd's to put on when I need time to fix lunch, or when we are playing...just to have in the background. I read an article stating that even though you enjoy the show, it could be giving you nightmares at night. I went back to my no TV rule, and you have stopped waking up. Maybe it is a coincidence, but hey...we are all sleeping so who cares why.

Now for more important news: I can FINALLY get a Pony Tail, or two Pig Tails in your hair! I thought this would never come...but after almost a year since I had to shave your head, it has recovered beautifully...nice and thick! Phew!
Here are some Photos of your last weeks in year "1"
The last two were taken today, you were stalking my frozen yogurt...you are so intense babe, look at the Jedi strength you are pulling on me.

GO TO SLEEP.

You two girls are giving me a run for my money today...SHEESH!
Love, Mama.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Well, we made it. A first full week of no more Danielle.

All three of us survived, and I collapsed in my bed at 9pm every night. This isn't going to be easy that's for sure...working and being with you both during the days is hard stuff. I would be lying if I didn't admit that 3 out of 5 days I was eagerly waiting for 12:00 naptime (sorry Pop...)
You did well babe, but the tantrums were there...the attitude is coming.

My plan of getting the heck out of the house worked, every morning we went for a lovely old North walk (ya, we drive and park) Clover you had your am catnap while hanging on me in the peapod, Poppy you really enjoyed the birds, squirrels, cats and dogs. You were quite content to be in the stroller, strolling along. One day we found a huge feather...you carried it with us the whole walk, you tasted it too and I worried quietly to myself about some sort of bird-virus.

I suprised myself in how I was feeling like it had always been this way, I suppose it is because I have had only 1 year without Poppy 3 days a week, and it was a quick year of working rampedly and being pregnant. We managed wonderfully, I am learning that I might not be SO horrible in the kitchen. I made mini-quiche (no crust...healthy) one day for lunch, and managed healthy meals and snacks every single day. I did not cook supper 1 night though...so I have to work on that one for next week to help Dad out.
So ya, all in all...positive :)

Weekly Updates:

Poppy you are doing incredibly well with the Potty stuff, I had you in undies every morning from when we got home from the walk until lunch. No accidents, you are pretty keen on getting the stickers. Today you did amazing, undies until naptime and undies after naptime until bedtime. We even went to the park and played (we brought Potty with us just in case) and you didn't need to use it...way to go, glad I bought the big roll of stickies for your rad self. You are pretty annoyed at us asking you, so I try not to so often...but just often enough to remind you.
You are struggling with sleep...driving us insane really, we don't know what the deal is...might be teeth, might be realizing Clover is staying...we are not sure, but we hope it doesn't last too much longer, we don't like seeing you so upset.

Clover, you are smiling and cooing up a storm..what fun you have with your bumper leaf and Peter Rabbit book. You are awake alot more, I am trying to figure out a proper schedule for you...without being to rigid of course. Last night you slept 7 hours, well...you woke at 4 and I gave you susie and you lasted until 7. Pretty great! I am going to try to get you on a 4 hour feeding schedule as things are pretty much all over the place during the day...would be easier if we knew what way was up. You weigh 14.6 (another reason why a 4 hour schedule is in need ;) and are officially into the 3-6 month category. Your hair is starting to fall out, I remember with Poppy freaking out at this...now I feel sad, your "original" beautiful hair is leaving us forever...and the new hair will be much different (still beautiful...just different). You are still having break outs, the Dr says its just premature skin, the heat doesn't help. 

Well, its 11pm..time for the final feed for a bit...I had better skidaddle, looking forward to next week! I plan on getting more organized, and Poppy...we have a suprise for you!

Sleeping Beauty

I got it! Thanks to our Olympus camera...the cute little nugget sleeping. So cute, so peaceful....now once I figure out why it won't upload, I will add it to this post!


This week was a fine week, Clover you are sleeping well at night...last feed being 11pm and not waking until somewhere between 4 and 5:30. So great. You are awake more during the day, usually in the afternoon...the mornings you are still pretty sleepy but are on a good enough schedule for me. Your evenings improved, you didn't fuss quite so much for poor ol' dad.


Poptart you are rockin the potty still, you spent the mornings with me in undies and only had a 2 accidents, one was my fault...sorry.


Next week we embark on our Summer together...I have plans to attend story time at the Central Library every Monday morning at 10:30, let's see how that works out for us....you dig it Poppy, hopefully Clove will too. I am fully armed with crayons, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, paint and paper...I bought the Madagascar duo, although you don't pay much attention to it, I usually have the TV off when we are hanging. I still have to get you a pool...hopefully that will happen this weekend.


I plan to walk everyday except Mondays, so that should be good. Danielle is kind enough to let us have playdates...that way you don't miss your little bug friends too much. You start back in September full-time. I am not sure how I feel about that...full time? I think I will miss you too much...but we will see.


Poppy you are really talking now, I can almost always understand what you are talking about. You are also going through a super lame whine-o phase...which I am praying is over soon...no good babe, no good. I will let it slide though, you have been so good with us bringing home a sister to contend with (even though...we totally did it for you, you just don't know it yet...now give me a call and thank me when you are finished reading this)


Well, that is my weekly thoughts in a nutshell....

Soak it all in Mama

This photo was taken Wednesday, the 23rd of May. I just really wanted to post this photo...and remember what a great day this was, remember how this morning made me feel.
The morning started off the usual way, Poppy stirring at 6:30ish waiting until 7:00 to get up and Clover staying awake from 5ish...until eating again at 7:00. Poppy you had your breakfast with Daddy...a peanut butter banana smoothie and some eggs...YUM.


You were such a sweetie, instead of the battle of clothing we usually have (almost always leaving both of us in tears) you were super helpful. We danced a little bit, read some stories...the mornings are kind of rushy-rush because you are at daycare for 8:00. As we drove to daycare I realized how much I wished we could keep going to the park. To OUR park...where the ducks are. I realized how much I wanted you all to myself that day...to soak in every smile, every laugh....every everything amazing you do every single day.


This week is your last week at daycare until September. I want to enjoy every single moment with you that we share this summer. A few weeks ago I was so scared at the thought of having my daytimes with both of you...scared that you wouldn't have fun with me. I look at this picture that was taken on an average day, and it gives me the feeling that I can do it, and now I am totally looking forward to our time...OUR time...how lucky am I to have you to spend my days with.


Clover, you are changing so much so fast. I am thankful that this time around I seem to be able to pick up the little things. With Poppy I was so scared out of my mind still...I didn't stop to smell the roses persay.
You are growing out of your 0-3s kiddo...you are getting longer, stronger...much more aware. I had to buy size 2 diapers! That is your update for this post ;)


I took Friday off to celebrate the start to our epic adventure...I love you both so much...and I cannot wait for Friday at 4, yep...Mama is gonna pick you up!

Sleep!

Thanks to little Clover Mama got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night...wahoo!

Do the Potty Dance

Poppy! today you peed in the good ol potty...on your own, without us asking you...you simply said "pee" and then it happened (ok..we helped you with your pantaloons...)
Awesome job little sprout, you are totally gonna nail this one!

Family time? why yes I will have some of that!

Victoria Day Weekend...never really meant that much to me. I have always worked it, never enjoyed it (except...there was that one, but we will leave that for another story)


Insert [FAMILY]


What a great weekend this has become! Splash pad, playdates, sleep ins (sort of), gardening, eating 3 whole meals together for the first time in what seems like forever.
Such comfort, such genuine happiness....such an awesome feeling that I can sit here typing and a soft smile comes to my face.


I hope you two nuggets grow to know how much you have changed us for the best...what would we have done without you?


You make us the best version of ourselves...just by being ours to love.


So I can say now...I will definatley be looking forward to our next long weekend together, heck...I may even take the whole damn thing off.

Just a little Bump in the Road

Wowza, Clover...we had a rough day. You didn't sleep much, and were not happy about that at all. I think perhaps you are going through a growth spurt?
You did smile at me though...a real one! And you tried some time out on your tummy, you seemed to enjoy the different view. Poppy hated tummy time, so it was refreshing.
Here are some photos!

Once Upon a Time....

This blog is for my little ladies. I tried writing in journals...fail. So my new plan is to write about how our beautiful adventure went down right here.


So where to start? let's see....Poppy has been around the block for a bit, almost two amazing years. Clover, you just came round here....I think you are settling in just fine.
It has been an adjustment that is for sure, having two is way harder than 1...but when I had 1 it was way harder than none, so I would say it is the same kind of shock; I just have to think faster and plan harder.


Right now both of you are sleeping, I have barely stopped...I made sure laundry was flipped, supper just has to go in the oven.


Wow...as I type these words I cannot believe they are my own thoughts. See when I met your dad, I was living on cereal and more cereal. He is an amazing cook as you know, so I never had to learn. (you can ask your gma why she never taught me....)


We watch a whole lotta food network, so over the 6 years I have absorbed some sort of skill...more of putting my two cents into what your pa wants to make for supper.


But now it's on me...and I am terrified! I actually have to be this. I will do it, I have been doing it....because I want to be the type of wife that helps her husband. You guys know how awesome your dad is...he deserves it.

Clover, tonights din doesn't concern you...but hey, I make yours too...but it is MUCH easier. Poppy...be a dear and eat up. Oh, and try not to make such a mess...it's pasta night.