Today

I saw something that scared me to the core. I wanted to write about it, to tell you both in the future what I am feeling now.

A 15 year old beauty ended her life. She left a YouTube video explaining her story. A story that was heart breaking, a story that will change the way your dad and I think about our choices we make for/with you.

Her video was about bullying...of repeted bullying she had experienced. Individuals did terrible things to her, I guess their explanation is that she made poor choices.
Poor choices yes, she did...but I feel you should be able to make poor choices and learn from them, not be haunted by them.

I write to you now, pleading that you always tell us what is happening....no matter what it is, we can handle it together. Please please please, you both are our world...our reason for living. I know I could not bare for you to feel how that poor girl felt. Lonesome, yearning for someone. There is always someone, always.

We are here, we are listening...we want to watch you grow and celebrate the lives we started for you. Respect yourself, respect others, love life...love every breath, each one is so precious.

When you read this, the story will long be forgotten by most. I will never forget the way it made me feel....it brought tears to my eyes...and Poppy, you ran over to me and hugged me. Through the tears I made you promise to never let someone make you feel the way others did to this beautiful creature, and to never stand by while this is happening to someone. You simply said "Yes Mama"....I am holding you to that statement. Forever.

Mama's Fruit Crisp

Here is an amazing recipe that you both LOVE (ok...we all love, everyone loves...)

Topping:

1/2c Melted Butter
1/2 c Old Fashioned Oats
1/4 c Whole Wheat Flour
1/4 c Brown Sugar
2 tbsp Hemp Hearts
2 tbsp Flax Seed
1 tsp nutmeg (fresh!)

Filling:

1tsp Cinnamon
Enough sliced fruit to fill 1 1/2 - 2 inches of the pan

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Toss fruit in the cinnamon, pour into pan (9x5/small square)

Whisk dry ingredients with 1/2 c melted butter and pour overtop of fruit, spread it around evenly.

Bake for about an hour, till the fruit is bubbly.

Enjoy my sweets...yum!

Way too many moons have passed....

Happy Thanksgiving, Lovies!

I know; your mama is the worst blogger ever. Forgive me, as I have been having way too much fun with you to remember to write it all down.

August: what a rush. We went to the beach (Canatara Park)
September: holy mackeral...I still think we are still in September. We hit up Apple land, and a bitchin corn maze.

Poppy:

You started back with the little bugs September 1st. It was like you had never left, and it was lovely to see you so happy to be back with your pals. I struggled, and am struggling to let go...How I wish I could keep you at home with me, but I know that this time away is important for confidence and social interaction. I hope it serves you well in your future.

I keep you home with us on Thursdays, and we usually have an awesome day.

You talk so much now, you can count to 5 and 10 with help. You speak with such passion, I hope you never lose that. You also have started into the realm of hand gestures...it is halarious and it is hard to keep from exploding with laughter whilst you banter on.
You know colours, shapes, objects, the difference between light and dark, morning and night. You love blankets and Buzz & Woody. Puzzles, colouring and to our delight; reading is still top ranks. You also have a new love for ELMO...Sesame Street dot com has been a big hit when we are waiting for Supper to be finished and ready.

You still need naps, you still go to bed by 7:30 at the latest. We tried to take "Soozie" away...that was a rough 2 nights...you won that battle you minx.
Your hair has grown into a delightful mullet...I had to cut some bangs for you, it was in your eyes and poor mama was afraid you would start pulling it out again....causing us to start at square one.

You weigh 28lbs, you wear a size 6/6.5 shoe. I don't know your exact height, but I can assure you have grown 2.5 knuckles worth since February. Potty is going well, you enjoy the pull-ups we have given you.

Clover:

Wow, you are 6 months old. How did that happen, and how do I get this time back?
You are almost crawling, you are strong.
You have lost some of your junk in your trunk, but still bigger than what Poppy was at this age...not by much though.
You smile all the time, you are sweet and soft. You love the jolly jumper to no end. The way you look at your sister brings tears to my eyes right now....I hope that never changes.

You love pumpkin mixed with oat cereal, banana, apple sauce and rice cereal. Avocado took some convincing, but its getting better.
You are really into watching everyone eat...I can tell what you are thinking, and often tell you "soon, soon you will get to eat with the rest of us...but for now here is your mush" you always smile at that.

I cannot wait for Halloween, as you know it is Mama's favorite time of the year. This fall has been absolutely beautiful, and tomorrow we will stroll in the woods...I will take many pics, I promise.

Thanksgiving, what do I have to be thankful for? why the answer is simple....I have everything to be thankful for, so much that I don't think there is any room in my world for dissapointment, anger or frustration. I am the luckiest lady out there, and at times I do not act like it. I need to work on that.

I will post some photos and try to be more regular...I can't locate the camera right now!

♥

PS...I am sorry there are no photos, for some reason this machine will not upload the photo flipped, UGH.......